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 moshi moto

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oogie boogie man
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PostSubject: moshi moto    Mon Jun 07, 2010 8:43 pm

Name: moshi motto
Gender: male
Age: 24
Affiliate:hidden water fall
Rank: missing nin
Jutsu:fire sword jutsu
Weapon:sword(a great weapen i call firebolt)
Looks:people think he got into a bad fight(lots of scars)blue eyes,brown hair thats spiked and strong.about as tall as kakuzu
Personality:he is realy short-temper.he love 2 drink alot.he's a PERV
History:a man that was once a friend with jiraiya(PERV) till his great grandpa died and told him to only to give up to a vortex and a living rope (poor poor great grand pa and his crazy riddles i think hes talking about a mask and earth fear gruge) so thanks to Kakuzu,Tobi and mr.moto moshi moto joined akatsuki.
Relationships:konan


Last edited by oogie boogie man on Wed Sep 08, 2010 3:29 pm; edited 6 times in total
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Izaya Orihara
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PostSubject: Re: moshi moto    Mon Jun 07, 2010 9:21 pm

"A man that weak people want to fight." NOT A LOOK

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Jack Atlas
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PostSubject: Re: moshi moto    Mon Jun 07, 2010 9:55 pm

i know im not a mod but theres loads of errors
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oogie boogie man
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PostSubject: Re: moshi moto    Tue Jun 08, 2010 4:20 pm

The Great Cornhollio wrote:
i know im not a mod but theres loads of errors
i dont see an errors
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Shizuo Heiwajima
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PostSubject: Re: moshi moto    Wed Jun 09, 2010 8:05 pm

oooookay.... here goes...

Name: moshi moto

Gender: male

Age: 24

Affiliate:hidden water fall

Rank: missing nin

Jutsu:fire styl
ahem. this is a uchiha kekki genkai. you cant have it unless you specify, like putting "fire sword jutsu" and you gotta decribe what it looks like when you use it, as well as what you have to do to use it.

Weapon:fire bolt(name of mah great grandpa's sword)
good, but what IS a firebolt? is it a sword? a bow? a whip? a (the all powerful Sasori has blocked this word! sorry Hidan XD)?

Looks:people think he got into a bad fight(lots of scars)
eye color?
hair color?
hair style?
is he thin, or fat? muscular or a wimp?
how tall?


Personality:he is realy short-temper.he love 2 drink alot.he's a PERV
you could have put a bit more here, but i wont drill you for it...

History:a man that was once a friend with jiraiya(PERV) till his great grandpa died and told him to only to give up to a vortex and a living rope so thanks to Kakuzu,Tobi and mr.moto moshi moto joined akatsuki.
a vortex and living rope? what the hell is that?! otherwise good ^^

Relationships:konan
woah woah woah, slow down there! WHAT WOULD LEADER SAMA SAY IF HE HEARD YOU HAD AN AFFAIR WITH HIS WOMAN?!?! XD

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oogie boogie man
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PostSubject: Re: moshi moto    Wed Jun 09, 2010 8:36 pm

kakuzu fett wrote:

Relationships:konan :#3:


i think he would be mad....a bit
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Shizuo Heiwajima
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PostSubject: Re: moshi moto    Wed Jun 09, 2010 9:29 pm

i deleted your rp post because we havent approved yor bio yet. please fix the areas i told you about. X3

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oogie boogie man
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PostSubject: Re: moshi moto    Thu Jun 10, 2010 4:43 pm

I DID FIX DEM!
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Arsuma1996
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PostSubject: Re: moshi moto    Thu Jun 10, 2010 8:31 pm

konan is arsumas relationship look at my boi 8C
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Black Mage Darkwizardton
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PostSubject: Re: moshi moto    Mon Jun 14, 2010 9:21 pm

I hate to say this, but I would honestly recommend you observe some of the other biographies before you even roleplay. Take a hint from some of the other members, and get your character defined more clearly, is my suggestion. I will not disapprove, but consider me -.- on this matter.
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Shizuo Heiwajima
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PostSubject: Re: moshi moto    Thu Jun 17, 2010 3:04 pm

i could not have said it better myself.

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Jack Atlas
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PostSubject: Re: moshi moto    Sat Aug 21, 2010 7:35 pm

I'm sorry to tell you this but I don't think I can approve this bio I don't think there's a good enough job on personality and history and jutsu edit it and I'll check again ASAP
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Black Mage Darkwizardton
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PostSubject: Re: moshi moto    Sat Aug 21, 2010 8:09 pm

What? I don't even...

I find this bio obscure, short, poorly written, and shoddy in grammatical structure. Until further revision is given to the bio overall, I withhold approval.
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Neku Sakuraba
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PostSubject: Re: moshi moto    Sat Aug 21, 2010 8:17 pm

I agree with Black Mage Darkwizardton, I don't approve this until revision is done.
You also don't have to tell people that jiraiya's a pervert. Most Naruto watchers know that.

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